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When Seth MacFarlane opened the Oscars by joking that he'd be the worst host ever, it didn't exactly fill us with anticipation. Turns out that lowering our expectations was a smart move: MacFarlane was a surprisingly good host, and those of us who sat through the whole ceremony were rewarded with some classic moments (including a Les Miserables cast singalong and Jennifer Lawrence's endearing stage tumble). On the flipside, when the ceremony bombed, it really bombed. Here are last night's Top 3 Oscar Fails: those forehead-slapping moments that never should have happened.
3. "Life of Pi" winners suffer shark attack.
This Best Picture nominee took home a well-deserved statue for best visual effects. The visual effects industry has hit hard times lately, so winner Bill Westenhofer used his speech to pay tribute to some out-of-work colleagues -- but we didn't get to hear it, because producers drowned him out with the "Jaws" theme song after less than a minute. Even Nicole Kidman felt bad for the guy; you could see her mouthing "poor thing" from the audience.
2. MacFarlane uses his final minutes to mock the losers.
Instead of doing something classy (like, say, letting the Life of Pi guy back onstage to finish his speech), MacFarlane roped Kristin Chenoweth into a downright mean riff on the Frank Sinatra tune "Here's to the Losers." (Sample lyric: "Bradley Cooper, get your chin off the floor. Here's your silver lining: You'll do Hangover 4.")
1. Michelle Obama presents 'best picture.' Much as we adore the first lady, we have no idea what she was doing at the Oscars (via satellite). We don't think she knew, either; her introduction was something about how movies teach us to believe in ourselves, which, really? And who were those people standing behind her? We're assuming that the idea was to show support for the arts, but mostly it was a cringe-worthy validation for anyone who thinks the Democratic party is a vast Hollywood conspiracy.