Like it or not, your mother gets to claim you as her very own. Does that mean she has the right to tell you how to live your life? Of course not. So what happens when your mother crosses the line just a bit too much? Here, grown-up daughters share their personal strategies for keeping the peace.
Be pals, not clones
“My mother and I know that we can be friends and love each other without having to agree on every single little thing
“Even though we might want them to be, our mothers don't have to be our best friends. Keep your expectations in line with your personal relationship. My mother and I didn’t have a good relationship, but now I try to ask her about herself. It takes the focus off of me so I don’t feel like I’m up for judgment. Now, I almost always find that she is chatty and fun. Instead of harping on where your relationship with mom falls short, find the good in it and make the most of what you have.”
Make a connection
“If you want to have some relationship with your mom, but don't want to share personal issues, talk about local and national news. There are ways to insert personal feelings when you talk about a universal problem. You’ll find that once you start talking you can resolve the issues that seem to be keeping you away from her.”
“Ask your mom questions about herself. “What was it like growing up ?” “How did you meet Dad?” Stuff like that. Sometimes my mother likes to reminisce and tell stories about her childhood. I love that because it makes me more a passive participant, the proud guardian of her special memories.